Friday, 02 April 2010

Rants

Paging Gilbert and Sullivan

A Policeman’s Lot  Dept
The Wall Street Journal:
U.S. Holds Suspects After Pirate Standoff

A U.S. Navy warship sank a pirate vessel and detained five suspects Thursday after Somali pirates fired at it...
Whoops!
...The USS Nicholas took fire just after midnight from a small skiff...  The guided-missle frigate, which was patrolling west of the island nation of the Seychelles, fired back, chased down the skiff, and detained three people on board...
You mean there was something left afterward?  Pity...
...After the exchange of fire, officials
What?  Not, “a party of burly Marines, armed to the teeth”?
boarded the skiff, detained the men, confiscated ammunition, and sank the boat.
Thus getting 2/3 of the process right.
...Thursday’s action perplexed some fellow Somali pirates.
First Pirate:  “They took on a f*in’ guided-missle frigate?”
Second Pirate:  “And those idiots are still alive...?”
(beat)
Omnes:  “WHY?”
Reached by phone in the central Somail coast pirate town of Xaradheere, pirate Abdi Fanah...
Wait a minute... is this The Wall Street Journal or Weekend Update?
...said: “Some of our friends have approached a warship and some were captured, along with the boat.”
I guess that’s one way of putting it...
Mr. Fanah said that he had spoken with his colleagues
It is Weekend Update!
...He didn’t know why they had attacked the warship.
Possibly drugs were involved?
???
Erm, meanwhile:
...Officials said the suspects would remain in custody...until a determination is made about what to do with them.
Hey, they’re pirates, right?  Well I have an idea...
Prosecuting suspected pirates detained in international waters has proved difficult.
...and it doesn’t have anything to do with “prosecution.”

Coming soon, a new operetta,
The Pirate and the Politician,
or,
The Slave of Political Correctness.

Related:
How about some Letters of Marque?

Posted by: Old Grouch in Rants at 16:55:53 GMT | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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